Grief and Sex

Grief and loss is a part of life, just as sex is.

How we grieve is different for all of us. Just as how we approach sex and what it means for us also differs.

Sex could be about comfort, physical pleasure, bodily contact, emotional intimacy or the need for connection, or a varying combination of all five.

When a partner dies, you grieve their death. But there are also secondary losses, often unacknowledged. One of which is the loss of your sex life.

The question of when to enter another sexual relationship or how to be with growing desires when they do return for you, can often provoke feelings of guilt, betrayal and selfishness. Or the drive for another sexual partner may be driven by a need to connect so you don’t feel so alone or abandoned. Or maybe you just want to feel alive again.

Whatever the reason, how you view your returning needs will impact your grief journey and how you reintegrate back into your life. It can be a time of increased anxiety and confusion.

If you would like to feel clearer about your sexual life or relationships going forward then consider making an appointment with a counsellor who specialises in grief and bereavement work. Make an appointment with Bronwyn at Your Path Psychotherapy and Counselling, in her rooms in Greenlane, Auckland.

References
Kubler-Ross, E and Kessler, D.  (2005) On Grief and Grieving. Simon and Schuster, London.
Rando, T.A. (1993) Treatment of Complicated Mourning. Research Press, USA.
Worden, J. William. 2003. Grief Counselling and Grief Therapy, 3rd Ed, Routledge, London and New York.